Why ME!
by Duo of Carnage
Summary: Everyone busts in Kyou's room when he yells, but Yuki is the only furious at what he sees... Based off the episode when Kyou wakes up to see Ayame sleeping beside him.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: We don't own Fruits Basket! So suing us would be a waste of everyone's time, seeing as how we are broke.

_Tirani:_ More broke than shattered glass.

_Keios:_ No... not THAT kind of broke...

_Tirani:_ Hmmmm. Then... we're more broke than Bush's brain?

_Kei:_ Aaaah. Close, but not quite. His brain can be repaired with a good punch upside the head (as unlikely as it seems).

_Tirani:_ Oooooh! I know! We're broke like a **video game disc**!

_Kei:_ (_truimphantly_) Ding, ding, ding, ding! There you go! EVERYONE who has ever owned a cd in their life knows that once it snaps, it is beyond fixing. (_wistfully_) She broke Virtua Fighter 4 Evolution... Oh, my word...

_Tirani: _(_sympathetically_) Oh. Go ahead and cry, Ash. I'll take over from here. Yeah. Where we got the idea for this fic, I honestly don't know. But, apparently, great minds DO think alike since we just finished writing it like 10 minutes ago. Enjoy now!

**Chapter 1: Rude Awakening**

* * *

It was a really pretty spring morning in the outskirts of Tokyo. The sun yawned faintly by shining a dimming its rays briefly before rising with the many plants and animals that lived in the area, including the residents of the Sohma villa. They got up as the warm beams of light hit them, and watched in awe as the brilliant sun began to reveal more of itself. Everyone but one unfortunate Sohma, that is, who woke to what even _he_ _himself_ would not wish on his worst enemy.

"GET THE HELL OFF ME, you **BASTARD**,"

was the bellow that made them dash in worry towards the source. You can pretty much guess what each person was thinking. If you can't, we'll tell you.

Tohru: "Oh, my word! I hope nobody is hurt!"  
Haru: "Damn it! Whoever that was just interrupted my particularly interesting dream about YUKI! **Why'd** somebody have to scream!"  
Shigure: "Just when I was about to finalize my newest plan to torment my editor! Damn that kid! Now I'll never remember it. (_whimper_)"  
Hatori: "What in the... Oh. Wait. I am in the Sohma villa with Shigure, Ayame, Kyou, Yuki, and Haru. What did Ayame do NOW? Uh! Wait. Never mind; I don't wanna know." (_rolls over on bed_)  
Yuki: "That was coming from Kyou-chan's room! Oh, I hope my little uke is okay! ...Wait did I just call him my 'uke!' I must be going crazy!"

Needless to say, the scream was indeed from Kyou's room. Hatori got there first and kicked open the door. Everybody ignored Shigure's automatic lecture about damaging his house. Mainly because it wasn't HIS house. What they saw stunned them to silence.

Ayame and Kyou were snuggling. When they heard the door give way, Kyou shived the snake off of him, and they both caught Yuki's eye. The quiet teen was glowing amethyst as he does every time he gets really angry. But his aura was much more violent than normal and his purple-grey eyes were hardened like steel. Kyou and Ayame looked at each other with horror as Yuki shoved the others out of his way to get to them. Their gulps were very audible as the furious teen stood in from of them.

They were in hitting range.

They had no escape.

Nobody made a move to help them or leave. They wanted to see the fight that was bound to happen. Tohru had even whipped out a bag of popcorn somewhere along the line. That meant one thing, and one thing only.

They were in deep shit.

* * *

_Keios:_ Boy! What is it with us writing cliffhangers that are the beginning of something big?

_Tirani: _Me no know. But I DO know that we're cool, anyway! I had lots of fun writing this! And we can't leave this as a one-shot! I got so many ideas boiling inside of my head, it's ridiculous! And tell me what your muses think, Ash!

_Kei: _Are you sure want all of them?

_Tirani: _Hai! Onegai?

_Kei:_ Alright. Will do. But not here. Our fans will think we are even more deranged than we are.

_Tirani:_ Kei, we are a teenage duo that writes shonenai fics for anime, and our names are "Keios" and "Tirani". Nothing we say and or do will make us any more crazy. I promise you that.

_Kei:_ You do have a point. And yes! I agree - we cannot leave this as the one-shot it was meant to be! It will be updated (hopefully) by tomorrow or Friday! So, stay tuned!

_Tirani:_ Review, please!


	2. Uh oh

Tirani: Hip, hip, HOO-FUCKIN'-RAY!! Man, I've been waiting a looong time to say that.

Kei: Apparently. Yes, people. The lovably retarded teenage duo is back.

Tirani: For how long, we don't know. BUT! We found out that we can spend ALL of our Study Hall periods in the library. And we can erase stuff in History. So they'll never know of our dirty little secrets. BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH! Hey! I just laughed like M. Bison!

Kei: (_smiles sardonically_) Ah, yes. How very fiting. It's also interesting that he wields the infamous Psycho Power, while **you** are simply psycho.

Tirani: (_twitch_) Funny. Like this chappy! (Gods, I hate that word.) We may or may not continue this fic. But it depends on reviews. (Hint, HINT!) Also, Akito makes an apperance. (In this story, Akito is a male.)

Kei: Plus, we made a little reference to our friend Kurenai Yuki by using her other alias (Echoing Silence). Hi, friend! How are you? Good? Great. Put up some damn fics, why don't you?

Tirani: (_laughs_) Yeah. Let's get it ON!

* * *

They had nowhere to go. No one was going to help them. And Yuki's alarmingly calm facade did nothing to mollify his soon-to-be victims' growing fear of his wrath. Yep. It was definitely going to be a good show.

And who, with the WORST timing **ever,** strolls in the room?

(Kei: Aren't y'all tired of the dots? 8) )

AKITO.

Naturally, everyone sort of shifted uncomfortably as he stood by Hatori and Shigure. What? The dude(ette?) is freaky in a scary way and scary in a freaky way.

"What's going on?" pretty much scared the crap out of everyone in the room, but Hatori (Tirani: My MAN! ) recovered gracefully with: "Kyou and Ayame were **snuggling. **But Kyou didn't know until he opened his eyes, screamed at Ayame to get off of him, and everyone busted through the door to see who got molested by whom. Obviously." Hatori paused for a brief second when he saw the 'must-know-what's-going-to-happen' look on Akito's face. He crunched on some of Tohru's wonderful popcorn. Tastefully, colorfully, poetically to the 100th power, he added, "Yuki saw them. And now... They are probably going to die. If they do, let me put this on the reocrd... I am NOT cleaning the mess."

Akito's eyes glittered with a hint of sadistic pleasure, but, surprisingly, anger as well. He stepped quietly up to Yuki.

"What are you going to do, rat?"

Yuki was startled out of his reverie. When did Akito arrive? He's just like a pimple! Always comes at the wrong time. Which means you can't pop it. Damn. Curse his infallible lateness.

"I don't rightly know." was his answer. Akito decided to "help" him make up his mind.

"If you so much as lay a finger on Kyo..." That was all that needed to be said.

But everyone was confused. Didn't Akito hate Kyo? They have like, a mutual hatred for each other. So why was he defending the kitty? Did they miss something? He sensed the confusion.

"Yes. I can't stand Kyo. It's just... I like picking on him. It's so much fun. And he can't say a word about it, so my enjoyment is therefore increased. But I am the only one allowed to hurt him mentally. If my toy comes to me one day completey shot and insouciant, there will be **HELL** to pay. And I will automatically assume that Yuki made him so. Does everybody understand?"

Simultaneous nods displaced the air, signalling Akito's grand exit of bowed heads and echoing silence (US: Hey, Ky!)

Kyo and Ayame, who have not said a word since this whole ordeal began, glanced at Yuki to await their impending punishment. Luckily for them, Yuki showed mercy. "I won't hurt you. I guess." Their sighs of relief were terribly loud. "I'll just abstain from sex for awhile. That way, you, Kyo, can cuddle up with my brother as much as you like."

Jaws greeted the ground, and were met promptly with a low high-five. Maybe they weren't so lucky after all.

* * *

Kei: WHOO!

Tirani: It's good to be back. And we hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Kei: And we're gonna be updating more often. We promise on Avatar and yaoi!

Tirani: Yeah! So review, please!


End file.
